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I am so tempted to blog but I have no idea what to blog about!
I've been in town three days in a row searching for this particular thing that I can only mention 10 days later hahaha.
I am damn excited to rattle on & on about it but I cannot ahhhh so torturous!
Haha.
Alright I think I know what to write now. The mood's just gone emo, sadly. But I do hope a particular person'd feel better after this.
So it all began on some day in March 2006. 21 seemed to be our favourite number, & so we decided to keep 21st January a special date.
Things must have been great then, because I have friends who remember how I was glued to my phone, smiling like the world'd never end everyday.
Was it too long a time ago that I was that happy everyday that I don't have an inkling of how in love I was? I feel terrible now that I can't remember how I ever felt in those days.
I had complete faith in myself that I'd always be the one holding on strong, no matter what.
I really proved myself wrong this year.
I didn't know how to handle the situation and I ended things so badly.
Still, I think it was something I should have done, but in a different way.
It's too late to do anything about it now, & I'm guilty as hell.
Because I seem to be leading a great life, while you seem to be in the deepest of downs.
How unfair life is.
But what I never told you is,
Despite all the fun and laughter,
You've always been in the corner of my head.
I worry, & I wonder if you're doing okay.
I hope you're able to move on.
But my actions just doesn't seem to be sensitive.
I feel so, so terribly sorry for that.
I know you don't deserve to be treated like that.
I know you've done nothing to deserve such hurtful things.
I shouldn't be flaunting my life in front of you.
Facebook's a major killer.
Not that I'm not blaming myself either.
I do.
But I don't know how to stop my life and grieve, even for a little while.
Do I really have to show everyone that I'm sad and guilty?
To show all the people that I feel sorry for ending everything?
So that you'd know I'm so apologetic for doing such a terrible thing?
I admit, that might make myself feel less guilty, because at least I'll be able to feel sad with you.
But I don't know how to do that.
Everyday, I just hope that you're doing fine, and moving on.
I just want you to be happy.
You can hate me, you can rant at me.
But don't give in to me.
I am so sorry Chengjun.
Pardon me for saying so, but you look more pitiful
Than I had ever imagined, despite perfect fashion
And your photographs depict you so differently.
I always thought you would be some sort of match for me.
So let's decide who can survive
Stomping feet and racing beats of hearts that don't ever slow.
Then I'll write letters on white paper expressing,
My deep disappointment.
Dripping where I stand from my watery hands, Hoping to get past the open bedroom door,
Where her clothes on the floor remind me of our conversation,
The feeling of slight hesitation
To turn out the light.
Fourteen days now since we started to complicate the situation.
I'm not hiding I'm just buying some time for us to find the back door.
We will come out when it's safe for us.
When it's safe for us..
For us.
There's nothing left to say to excuse the way that I've behaved.
I still feel him gripping like a stain
To this fabric, torn at every seam,
Then thrown away.(One without regret, I will not forget.)
Why should I take all the blame for my mistakes? You were there with every promise made to break.
When did you become the one without regret?
Kill me.
Burn me down.
I swear I won't forget.
When did you become the one without regret?
Kill me.
Burn me down.
I swear I won't forget.
I've been in town three days in a row searching for this particular thing that I can only mention 10 days later hahaha.
I am damn excited to rattle on & on about it but I cannot ahhhh so torturous!
Haha.
Alright I think I know what to write now. The mood's just gone emo, sadly. But I do hope a particular person'd feel better after this.
So it all began on some day in March 2006. 21 seemed to be our favourite number, & so we decided to keep 21st January a special date.
Things must have been great then, because I have friends who remember how I was glued to my phone, smiling like the world'd never end everyday.
Was it too long a time ago that I was that happy everyday that I don't have an inkling of how in love I was? I feel terrible now that I can't remember how I ever felt in those days.
I had complete faith in myself that I'd always be the one holding on strong, no matter what.
I really proved myself wrong this year.
I didn't know how to handle the situation and I ended things so badly.
Still, I think it was something I should have done, but in a different way.
It's too late to do anything about it now, & I'm guilty as hell.
Because I seem to be leading a great life, while you seem to be in the deepest of downs.
How unfair life is.
But what I never told you is,
Despite all the fun and laughter,
You've always been in the corner of my head.
I worry, & I wonder if you're doing okay.
I hope you're able to move on.
But my actions just doesn't seem to be sensitive.
I feel so, so terribly sorry for that.
I know you don't deserve to be treated like that.
I know you've done nothing to deserve such hurtful things.
I shouldn't be flaunting my life in front of you.
Facebook's a major killer.
Not that I'm not blaming myself either.
I do.
But I don't know how to stop my life and grieve, even for a little while.
Do I really have to show everyone that I'm sad and guilty?
To show all the people that I feel sorry for ending everything?
So that you'd know I'm so apologetic for doing such a terrible thing?
I admit, that might make myself feel less guilty, because at least I'll be able to feel sad with you.
But I don't know how to do that.
Everyday, I just hope that you're doing fine, and moving on.
I just want you to be happy.
You can hate me, you can rant at me.
But don't give in to me.
I am so sorry Chengjun.
Pardon me for saying so, but you look more pitiful
Than I had ever imagined, despite perfect fashion
And your photographs depict you so differently.
I always thought you would be some sort of match for me.
So let's decide who can survive
Stomping feet and racing beats of hearts that don't ever slow.
Then I'll write letters on white paper expressing,
My deep disappointment.
Dripping where I stand from my watery hands, Hoping to get past the open bedroom door,
Where her clothes on the floor remind me of our conversation,
The feeling of slight hesitation
To turn out the light.
Fourteen days now since we started to complicate the situation.
I'm not hiding I'm just buying some time for us to find the back door.
We will come out when it's safe for us.
When it's safe for us..
For us.
There's nothing left to say to excuse the way that I've behaved.
I still feel him gripping like a stain
To this fabric, torn at every seam,
Then thrown away.(One without regret, I will not forget.)
Why should I take all the blame for my mistakes? You were there with every promise made to break.
When did you become the one without regret?
Kill me.
Burn me down.
I swear I won't forget.
When did you become the one without regret?
Kill me.
Burn me down.
I swear I won't forget.
Current Mood: 
melancholy
melancholyCurrent Music: Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine
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