It's almost here, the day I leave Singapore for Kenya. I can't believe nine months have passed by so quickly - I still remember the day Pendeza II met up for the very first time. These are the same people I will be going to Kenya with - give or take a few people.
I admit, I'm still packing now!
But while packing stationery & notebooks for the girls, I realised that most of the donations are really old & musty & I honestly doubt if they can be used at all. It's like we're a dumping ground for unwanted items. My mom was shaking her head as she sorted through the donation items I brought home.
It happens to me too - It's easy to just throw everything you don't want into a box without sorting it out & donate it away, thinking someone else would appreciate our junk. We end up trying to ease our guilt, convincing ourselves that these things can actually still be used even though they're in bad shape. Truth is, most of such stuff gets rejected and eventually thrown away. We're really just pushing the guilt to someone else.
I really feel these people receiving the donations deserve better somehow. The girls I'm bringing these notebooks to, some of them are 16 while some are only 3 years old. When we were little, I'm pretty sure we would all have wanted to own pretty things. Even if we didn't have much of a choice. Sure, I'd love to have a notebook to draw & write on. But I would definitely love to have one of those floral printed notebooks over those free NUS Open House or SPRING Singapore notebooks. Even while I was packing I was subconsciously looking out for such dull notebooks that I myself wouldn't use to give away when I realised how delighted the girls would be if they received something nicer.

Time to be repacking some stuff.

Not exactly the best week ever.
Was pretty excited about Pendeza & all but kinda getting a little bit of cold feet here..feels as though I have so much unfinished business back home.

Then again, looking back it seems like Tuesday through Thursday was pretty awesome!
The day after Thaipan some of us went to support Chun at Mismasquerae! Hort Park was just absolutely amazing.


& the photobooth was loads of fun! We were just ransacking the boxes of props & trying on everything we could get our hands on. Loved it.

and the rest of the night was amazing haha I've never had so much fun at Mambo night. We hardly stepped into Phuture that night - mambo was really quite fun haha. Walked with Andrew all the way back to SMU at 5am just to save $ we are insane haha

Next day was hilarious with the guys at Butter. We broke a bottle of 16yo Highland Park D: We did have one minute (maybe 3 seconds) of silence for it though!

Hopefully we'll be able to catch 53A at Timbre on Monday before I fly off for one month! I miss these people already.

Handball's Summer Bucket List

1. Thaipan
2. 85 Market
3. Simpang
4. Changi Village
5. Timbre to watch the Goodfellas & 53A!
6. Johor

& it's only the first day since finals ended (Y)
It's gonna be my last day with the handballers though, really gonna miss them & handball camp & one month's worth of trainings.



It was pretty nice tonight, the westies finally got to try Thaipan & we survived the walk to Udders & back & the wind was awesome at ECP. Add Azmi & his guitar & Gabriel with his singing and you have the perfect night. Would've loved to have a picnic mat though ha.

You escape like a runaway train 
Off the tracks and down again 
And my heart's beating like a steamboat tugging 
All your burden, on my shoulder 

And in the mourning, I'll rise 
In the mourning, I'll let you die 
In the mourning, all my worry 

And now there's nothing but time that's wasted 
And words that have no backbone 
Now it seems like the whole world's waiting 
Can you hear the echoes fading? 

And in the mourning, I'll rise 
In the mourning, I'll let you die 
In the mourning, all my sorry 

And it takes all my strength 
Not to dig you up, from the ground in which you lay 
The biggest part of me 
You were the greatest thing 
And now you're just a memory to let go of 

In the mourning, I'll rise 
In the mourning, I'll let you die 
In the mourning, all my sorry 

Well, I've been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you 
But time grows bolder, children get older I'm getting older too, so 
Well, I climbed a mountain and I turn around 
And I saw my reflection in snow covered hills 
Where landslide brought me down, your landslide brought me down 

So in the morning, I'll rise 
In the morning, I'll let you die 
In the morning, all my sorry

Photos are really something beautiful to hold on to. Looking through my old hard disk & relived so many memories. I'm really glad the Phoenix cheerleaders are camwhores. We literally took pictures of every step we took, & we must have spammed thousands of albums on Facebook while people got stunned seeing us spam their newsfeed. I'm so grateful for these few thousand shots.


I love how we have a shot AND a video of our shot. It's like we're paused for a moment in time & when we all started moving, it felt like a dive into the Pensieve. The feeling I got watching this was amazing.



Phoenix burn.

Would you believe me if I said I was sorry
The question wasn't meant to hurt,
It was just my fear of losing you.
And now you're filling all the space that surrounds you
I'll soon be tucked away underneath your bed
Where you gave yourself to me.
Where I gave myself to you.

Maybe it's all for the best,
But I just don't see any good in this, no.
Maybe we'll find something better
But the lovers that leave us
Will always hold the place

Maybe it was wrong of me to think I could keep you
And maybe it's the last few drinks
Taking over my mouth and all I've been thinking
I want you to know that I am fine here without you
But I can't bring myself to lie to you.
And since we're being honest, I feel I should tell you
I've been filling up the empty space between you and I

Between you and I, she could never compare to you
Between you and I, I still keep your pictures underneath my bed
Where she gives herself to me.
Where I give myself to you.

Maybe it's all for the best,
I just don't see any good in this, no.
Maybe we'll find something better
But the lovers that leave us
Will always hold the place
Yeah the lovers that leave us,
Will always hold the place

你的长发为何不留　
你干么会学懂喝酒
你那个男朋友　
酒量也算一流　
聊个一整夜只怕不够

你为甚么跟他闹酒　
你莫非要借酒浇愁
你那个女朋友　
到底还有没有　
搞不好我们四个人去旅游

原来一回头　
原来才显出你温柔　
我当时爱得不够
原来只能够做朋友　
从前快乐没变哀愁

原来在那关头　
全因舍得分手　
你说是否荒谬　
我们比从前看起来更熟

改天你母亲搞贺寿　
我带女友出来走走　
你就知我理由　
不外乎太羞
如果要一起去旅游去欧洲

那天澎一声关门　
就走很想问　
你有没有眼泪想流
你以为　
你的魅力大得足够　
少有我们像在迎新怀旧

原来一回头　
原来才显出你温柔　
我当时爱得不够
原来只能够做朋友　
从前快乐没变哀愁

原来在那关头　
全因舍得分手
还去不去欧洲　
四个人不许酸溜溜

I love how this is a true story. The bassist of The Afters found & got to know this girl through Myspace, & they eventually got married!



I saw you once, it was enough
You asked me what I wanted, I want you
But I replied, I'll have some fries
So mesmerized, my heart was over driving through

I saw your name and unashamed
I searched within 500 miles to find
Any clue just as to who I've fallen for 
Cause you've got me and I've got time

I saw your picture on Myspace
Maybe someday we can turn it into Ourspace baby
I don't care how long it takes
I'm saving space in my top 8 for you

The second time you were so nice
I loved the way you told me to enjoy my day
But I know what you meant to say instead
Was really that you wanted us to run away

I said let's go, I'll pack my clothes
Just promise me you'll wear that purple dress you have
You look so cute when you're confused
You backed away and asked me how I knew about that

I know you're scared
I know our love is crazy
And I'm so crazy
You make me crazy
For you

It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as well as you planned
But when my loneliness is through, I'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When I was your lover
No one else would do
If I'm forced to find another, I hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now I'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do some things you wouldn't let me do
Oh I'm gonna find another you

Not concentrating on finals, watching videos on Youtube = bad.
But really, looking at all these bands - Mayday Parade, Pierce The Veil, Hey Monday, All Time Low - they're just having fun touring, making music videos & singing & life should absolutely be like that.
There is so much more to life than doing what we're doing right now.